My lips began to quiver as my body lost its strength. I couldn't hold this anguish any longer. I put a hand over my mouth as a tear rolled down followed by a stream of it. Uncontrollable tears glistened without any halt because there is none from my despair. Mixed with cold water, my tears soaked my face and crumbled me. I wanted to go into a desolate place just to cry my heart out. The ravage in my heart is so severe that it's taking my life out from me. The state of distress is immense. Like I am drowning in the sea of fierce fire and no one can hold my hand to save me.
I fell on the ground as I removed the hand from my mouth and began to let out these sobs of misery because they needed to be let out. I couldn’t hold them in for long. I let out the loudest cries of my life- the cry of pain. I continued to cry as my eyes sting, my throat hurts from the scream but I couldn't stop. The sound, who knows, echoed to how much extent but I didn't care. I feel like my soul is being ripped apart from me. It's comparable to that ultimate feeling despair of rape. Once again, my heart is filled with depression. I continued to shed tears of despondency. I have felt every pain, every sadness. Why me?...
I grieve for myself. I hope the melancholic feeling might not make me suicidal.
I continued to scream, to let out the suffering inside me. But then the door opened only to reveal Christian looking concerned, like always. I gave him a pleading look and whispered,
"Please.. leave me alone.." His lips were quivering as his whole being was emitting the feeling of compassion for me. I lowered my head as I sensed him coming closer.
"Please..." I spoke in a barely audible tone. He turned off the shower as he took a towel and wrapped it around me. He stroke my cheeks and said softly,
"I can never leave you in this state of devastation. I vowed to stay by your side. How can I leave you in your sadness?" His words pricked my heart as I broke into sobs again. I hugged him and began to cry again.
"What am I? I feel so lost. I don't know what I should do." I wailed. He rubbed my back as he whispered sweet nothings to me to calm me. After crying my heart out for I don’t know how long, I sniffed and slowly pulled away. He wiped my tears and pulled me in his embrace again. He kissed my head and said sincerely as a profound feeling of love emerge from him,
"You are my wife, Sophie Elvis. You are my reason for living. You are my path, my light, my heart, my salvation, my life. You are not lost. You are just thinking like this. You have dreams Sophie, you have people who love you dearly. How can you feel lost? Look, everyone has to face problems. You have to prevail in this. I am with you and always will. I will support you. Fulfill your dreams, live your life the way you want. I will never stop you. Pursue your dream of becoming an English Professor. I will support you." His words are so earnest that it made me cry again, I tried my best not to cry but I couldn't help it. I slowly pulled away, he cupped my cheeks and looked at me lovingly. I smiled faintly and lowered my gaze.
"I am here for you. Even if the world would against you, I'll never leave your side. I'll be here every moment. I'll never leave you. You are my everything. The life in which you are not, I don't want that life. I love you and won't stop loving you even after death." His solemn words gave my heart solace as I suddenly felt serene. I closed my eyes and put my head on his shoulder.
"I am so blessed to have you in my life." I whispered.
"So do I.." He whispered back.
He pulled away as he helped me to stand. My face flushed when I realized that I am naked but I am not in the mood to be shy. I am truly heartbroken right now. I turned my head away and Christian walked out without saying another word. I wore my dress as I walked out and saw him sitting on the bed. He spared a glance at me and smiled. I passed him a faint smile as well. He stood up and walked towards me, he held my wrist and made me sit on the bed. I looked at him perplexed. He took a hold of my hand, that bruised knuckle of mine and stroked it.
"It's fine." I said.
"No it's not." He said applying a gel on it to relieve pain.
I looked at him as a smile crept upon my lips. "How lucky I am to have you. I am glad that I am yours. That fate bound you to me after all the hardships." I said in a croaked voice as a tear threatened to fall but I held it back along with a sad smile. He looked up at me and smiled as he replied with a 'me too'
He then sat beside me as he held my hands and asked hesitantly,
"Sophie.. are you.. angry.. at me?" I looked at him and lowered my head. I chose not to reply to him. I am angry at him for not making me his priority and using me as a second option but I don’t have enough strength left in me to argue anymore. I need him to be at my side. I put my head on his shoulder and held his hands, “I need you.” I said in a barely audible tone.
“I know you are angry.” I hummed and closed my eyes. “Sophie, Please. I know I am at fault and I cannot change what has happened. I know I have strayed from my path but I promise that I will stay by your side forever. My heart is yours, I just want to spend the rest of my life in your arms, being yours. That’s all I want now.” He said sincerely. I remained like this but then I slowly brought his hand close to my lips and kissed the back of his palm. “I love you.” That’s all I said and wrapped my arms around him, snuggling close to him as close as I can as we remained silent for a while as he affectionately caressed.
"Come, let's sleep. It's such a tiring day." Christian whispered sweetly, removing the hairs falling on my face.
"And probably the longest day of my life." I said faintly. He hugged me and kissed my head.
We laid down as he engulfed me in his arms. I smiled as his fragrance filled my nostrils, giving me deep satisfaction. I feel so happy to be in his arms. I feel so protected. His presence gave me the most tranquility. I am blessed to have him by my side. All the ordeals faded away when he stood by my side. Like all the despairs bend their knees against his love. I am so happy.. so loved.. I want to put aside all my anger, all my devastation behind and start a new life with him...
...All the fortunes of this world can never be compared to the benediction of having you in my life...