“-They even talked bad of you and even accused that you are the one that did this, just how absurd they can be? Like, I can believe their words. They don't know that I trust you with my life. No matter what they talk about you.. I kept calling your name.. I kept calling and calling but you didn't come...
You know what? That time, I realized what it feels like to be truly defile. Because you can never feel safe in those arms, you can never like their touch, that moment I realized you never defiled me...
Each time we used to go in an intercourse I thought it was disgusting but it wasn't, it's just I denied to feel that sacred feeling...
We were so much more than I let us be. You never did anything bad to me. I was so wrong.. you never force yourself upon me, you stopped when I asked you to stop; they didn't, You were gentle when I cried; they weren't, you always console me after it, wrapping your arms protectively around me; they.. left me in the cold.
That's the day I realized what it feels like to be genuinely broken, impure and used..." She said as tears fell on her cheeks, her voice croaked. My lips began to quiver as tears brimmed in my eyes,
"When you kissed me.. I was astonished that you can still agree to touch a contaminated thing like me. That someone as polluted as me can arouse you too. I was taken aback when you promised to remove this feeling. Surprised that you can still gather those broken pieces and fix it.
You still look at me with affection, never giving me a look of hate, caring for me as if I am a treasure. Pulling me close trying to save me from this world.
When I hate my very being then why can't you hate it? When I can't bear my existence, then how can you?... How can you still find me worthy enough to be with you?
I'm nothing but a broken toy now, Christian, how you're supposed to liberate me when you're broken too? My very being is.. is touched by another man...r.. r...raped.. How can you still find my body pleasurable? Why can't you hate me? Why?.. Why? Why are you still here for me when even I am not.." She finished, tears streamed down, she hugged her knees and hid her face and began to cry out loud.
Tears began to flow down from me too as I was left speechless. I didn't know that she is that broken, her suffering is too much. Feeling utterly broken by looking at her like this, I muster some courage because I can't leave her in this crying mess form. My heart was torn into pieces looking at her like this. I want to hold her hand and take her out from the darkness, I am at the doors of her heart, she just need to accept me and I will be at her side, protecting her from every harm. I will take all her misery upon myself but never let it reach her. I will bear it but please, don’t hurt her. I want to stop it. Gulping hard, I did what I consider the best to give her solace,
I pushed her down forcefully and pinned her hands with mine and hovered over her, I leaned in and kissed her, the kiss wasn't warm and loving like before, it was possessive and rough to make her understand that I can never think of her this low, To muffle those cries that are killing me from inside. She tried to push me away but I didn't even flinched. I kissed her roughly. When her cries ended, I pulled away and stare at her intently, both of our faces were glistened with tears under the moon, After kissing her, I burst out my emotions,
"Why don't you get it, Sophie!? You are my salvation, you are those emotions of mine that I treasure deeply, You are my world, I couldn't even imagine spending a second without you. You are my redemption, the meaning of my existence, the solace of my soul, the light of my world, my darkest desire of my heart.
They can contaminate your body but not your soul because it is protected by me. I'll evoke just my feelings to your very soul. My soul is connected to you and no one but me can indulge in it. Your soul belongs to me just like mine belongs to you.
As for this body, I have already said that I will obliterate this feeling, I'll suck this toxic feeling out. I'll replace this feeling with those divine feelings you used to imagine in your dreams. I will make you feel pure again.
I will ignite your heart with my light just like you light my world, I will purge your body and fill it with the sensation of my touch. I will turn these lethal emotions into a source of gratification so that you can implant it into your core and it can eliminate any other negative emotion.
Sophie, can't you notice my smile when I look at you, can't you see my the happiness when I talk to you, my rapture to have you in my arms, my benediction to have you as my wife, my desires you invoke unintentionally in me, the lust just for you and you only. The cravenness for no woman than you!
Can't you understand that I need you, my whole being is connected to you. I am so crazy about you, my mind is filled with nothing but your thoughts, I have offered my life to you, I have given my heart to you, You are my reason to live!
CAN'T YOU SEE!? I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SOPHIE ELVIS! I FUCKING LOVE YOU SOPHIE ELVIS!" I finally confessed, I began to pant, I leaned in and rest my forehead against her and closed my eyes,
"I love you.. I love you so much, enough to die for you.."